What in the Name of Atmos is Going On!
by RemmyBlack
Summary: Warning: CRACK AHEAD! Storm Hawks get capture, Cyclonis becames obsessed with hair and secret is revealed.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This idea was thought up awhile ago (more then a month really) and I'm guess it's not going away until I write it. Well that's my explanation for this stupid piece.**

**Hopefully I kept them in character (minus the Dark Ace, I made him OOC but you will have an explanation) and this is based early on in the series (when Cyclonis is more *Cough*incredibly* leniant towards Dark Ace).**

**Warning: Some bad spelling ahead since spellcheck online ain't working and I'm a horrid speller. A little bit of swearing and crack ahead.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Storm Hawks (through that would be cool)**

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**Chapter One-What the heck is going on?**

The Storm Hawks could only stare as Finn ran all around the bridge, screaming.

"Finn!" Piper yelled, annoyed at his antic but slightly worry for that was a horrorfied scream he was admitting.

"Finn, buddy, what's wrong?" Junko, forever a softie, asked his buddy who now sitting on the floor.

Finn didn't answer and only started rocking himself back and forward. An action that reminded the other Storm Hawks of when they were stuck in the Black Gauge, except this time there was no screaming at rocks or paranoia.

"Yep, he still has Gorge Madness," Stork told the others, twitching.

Aerrow looked at him, "I'm sure it's something else, Stork."

Finn stopped rocking, looking up his eye started to twitch as he looked straight to Piper.

"You were right, Piper," the blond* told her, "I sh-should never have tried to find out who my father was. I should have never-" Finn started hyperventailating at this point.

Aerrow calmly walked over to him, sitting next to the horrorfied sharpshooter, "I'm sure it's not that bad, Finn."

Finn's eyes widen at the Sky Knight's word, before he took his shoulders and shook Aerrow, "You don't understand Aerrow! You don't know who he is! And if you did, you would not trust me! And if he finds out, we're doomed!" Finally letting go of Aerrow, he tried to sink further into the floor.

Aerrow immiedately fell backwards, trying to make sense of the spinning room.

"Wait a minute!" Piper yelled, "Finn, what do you mean 'if he finds out'?"

"I'm not an orphan, wish I was now that I know _he's _my father. He's still alive and-" Finn starting rocking again, "I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE MY FATHER!"

"Finn, I'm sure your father-" Finn cut off Aerrow,

"NO! YOU WOULDN'T SAY THAT IF YOU KNEW WHO HE WAS!"

Piper sighed, "Well then tell us who it is,"

Finn shook his head, "I can't...you won't think of me as the same." Finn whispered something else that no one but Radarr could hear.

Unfortuantely for the other members (And fortunately for Finn), Radarr was unable to tell them. Radarr also knew that if he tried the way he knew would work, Finn would stop him.

"Uh, what did you say, Finn?" Junko asked him gently, Finn continued to shake his head.

"Finn," Aerrow stated gently, "We won't change what we think of you."

"Oh really?" Finn's voice held disbelief, "What if I told you my father's a Murk Raider?"

Aerrow looked questionely at the sharpshooter, "Ok, so you're father is a Murk Raider. But _you, _Finn, are not."

"My father's not a Murk Raider, he's worse." Finn mumbled,

Radarr whined and jumped into Finn's lap, trying to console him seeing how he was the only one who knew who Finn's father was.

"C'mon, Finn," Piper started, "Aerrow's right, we won't think any less of you. Even if your father is a Murk Raider, the moustache talon guy, Snipe (here everyone shuddered) or the Dark Ace."

Piper stared at Finn who had frozen up at the mention of the Dark Ace. Everyone else had noticed it too, Radarr whined in sympathy for Finn, climbing onto his shoulders and nudging his head gently.

"Finn?" Aerrow prompted him gently,

Finn finally lost it, "REALLY PIPER? THE DARK ACE _IS_ MY FATHER! DO YOU STILL THINK THE SAME OF ME NOW? REALLY? CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY THAT NOTHING ABOUT YOUR VIEWS ON ME HAVE CHANGED? HONESTLY? The _Dark Ace _is my father, he's my father." Finn curled up in a ball, trying to stop the tears from flowing.

The others did not know what to do. How do you comfort someone who's father is the Dark Ace...

_Meanwhile in Cyclonia_

Cyclonis' eye twitched as she heard the Dark Ace play with the puppets of Snipe and herself. Where he got those things, she had no idea and she didn't think she wanted to know. She knew she should have gotten the Dark Ace something to do. He is completly not himself when he is bored out of his mind. She held in a sigh as she felt the puppets go in her hair, no doubt 'climbing' through it.

"Dark Ace," Thankfully she could keep the irratation out of her voice, "Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

She saw the puppet of herself appear in front of her,"No," it said.

The real Cyclonis sighed inwardly before smiling, she knew the perfect thing to get rid of her annoying commander.

"Dark Ace, go annoy Ravess or I will not allow you near any crystals at _all _for the rest of this year." Cyclonis smiled as the puppets hung their heads in sadness through the smile was quickly wiped off of her face as she heard the Dark Ace cackling before running off.

What in the Atmos had she just unleashed in Cyclonia?

_Back on the Condor_

Aerrow, Piper and Junko were doing their best to assure and reassure Finn that they didn't think of him any differently. Not that it was working. Stork hadn't said anything which just made Finn feel worse. Radarr was offering Finn his last banana and his ears fell down when the blond refused the food.

To make matters worse, the alarm started going off.

Stork checked what was setting the alarm off and gulped, "Uh guys, Ravess is heading this way and...the Dark Ace is flying alongside her (Another glimpsed) and annoying her with puppets?"

Aerrow nodded, feeling weird as there was no music with Ravess, "Junko, you stay here with Finn and try to get him to understand that he's still our friend. (Junko nodded) Piper, you and me, are going to fight them."

Piper nodded while Radarr leapt from Finn's lap to Aerrow's shoulder.

After he and Piper were at the hanger and flying out, they met a strange sight...

Ravess looked thankful that Aerrow was there and pointed to him, obviously trying to get the Dark Ace away from her. He just continued to play with the puppets.

As soon as they got in hearing range, they wished they didn't for the puppets were of Snipe and Cyclonis. The puppeteer made the puppets babble on about how Ravess was stupid and well, just making them insult her.

"Oh c'mon!" Ravess yelled, "He's completely unable to move! Don't you want to take revenge on him for tarnishing your unbeatable record?"

Dark Ace ignored her, "Ravess is so dumb!" *Cyclonis* said "That if she was locked in a supermarket, she would starve to death!" He made the Snipe puppet laugh so hard that he made *Snipe* snorted.

Ravess stared at him before looking to the two Storm Hawks, who were gaping in shock; (And Aerrow was gaping in slight amusement as well, not that he would tell anyone) at Dark Ace's puppet show.

"Please get him away from me! I'm begging you!" Ravess' pride was wounded at the begging but she could not handle the immature commander following her around all day.

Aerrow was the first to came out of his stupor, "Where did he get those puppets?"

Piper facepalmed at Aerrow's question. Ravess would have done the same action if it wasn't for the fact that the Dark Ace now decided to make the puppets climb all over her face and in her hair.

"Seriously, Aerrow? THAT'S your question?" Piper asked in disbelief,

Aerrow looked confused at her, "Well, it's a valid question."

"RAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEESSSSSSS!" The *puppets* started to sing,

Ravess sighed, her shoulders slumping for once not caring about her perfect posture. "For the love of Atmos, what have I done to deserve this?"

"A lot of things," Aerrow helpfully chimed,

Ravess just glared at him before realising that she wasn't getting annoyed anymore. Looking around, she saw no sign of the Dark Ace. How in the Atmos did he just disappear like that?

"Uh, this never happened, okay?" Ravess told the two, still rather shocked Storm Hawks before going off to look for the Dark Ace. Hopefully he was only back at Cyclonia. If not, then she was...screwed.

Aerrow and Piper could only stare at each other. As much as they hated to admit it, they could see the similarity between Finn and Dark Ace. Thankfully, it was only the annoying everyone part that was similar; but they were still left wondering.

What in the name of Atmos had just happened?

_TBC_

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**A/N *Blond is used to describe a male's hair colour, or both sexes so no I am NOT spelling it wrong :) **

**This is my lame attempt at making Dark Ace annoy everyone because you totally know he's the type that when bored, he will either go torture some poor soul with physical pain or annoy them to the point that it can be called 'torture'.**

**This was originally going to be a one-shot with Finn trying to deal with the fact that Dark Ace is his daddy but it scaled into this...I ain't complaining :D I see fun roads ahead.**

**So, will Finn ever get over the fact that his daddy is Dark Ace?**

**Will Ravess find Dark Ace? **

**Will the Storm Hawks encounter the Talon Commander again?**

**And will Finn encounter his daddy now he knows who it is? **

**And does the Dark Ace know he has a son? And where in the Atmos is he? **

**Will I ever stop annoying you with these (hint: the answer is B)**

***In announcer voice* stay tune and you will find out next chapter in _What in the name of Atmos is going on?_**


	2. A Puppet Show and a Squeegee

**A/N**

**Hopefully I kept them in character (And the Dark Ace is still bored but he's more in character now so :P)**

**Warning: Weirdness is ahead and maybe some/a lot grammer mistakes since my brain does not understand the concept of 'proof reading' and only realises my mistakes AFTER I published a chapter...At least I'm warning you people who insist on perfect grammar, right? :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Storm Hawks (through that would be cool)**

**Moon Shadow: Thank you for your review :) And seeing how updated it a couple of days after the first chapter, NEW RECORD FOR ME! I give myself (And you) a cookie :) **

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**Chapter Two- A Puppet Show and a Squeegee**

The current prisoners looked confused as the Dark Ace came to serve them their food. It was a low level Talon's job to feed them, so what was he doing here?

The two male prisoners gulped as the Dark Ace stopped in front of them, smirking cruelly.

_Currently on the Condor_

Finn had currently locked himself in the room, playing his guitar. Loudly. Causing the rest of the Storm Hawks to suffer with bleeding ears except for Radarr, who had mysteriously disappeared along with the bananas.

All of the current sufferers sighed in relief when the Condor's alarm started going off.

"It's Snipe!" Stork told them,

"Everyone battle stations!" Aerrow yelled, "Let's take Snipe down!"

_Back in Cyclonian Dungeon_

The prisoners sighed as they were force to make a puppet show for the Dark Ace. It was humiliating. Not to mention, if the commander wasn't pleased with their work, they would not get any food. The puppet show was interrupted by a yawn, the Dark Ace looked at them.

"That's the best you can do? Seriously?" He yawned again, this time loudly.

"I rather the physical pain," one of the prisoners muttered to the other, quietly...Well not quiet enough, as the Dark Ace smirked at them.

"That can be arranged, Prisoner #1," He laughed evilly, cause he's evil and that is how he laughs, "Prisoner #2 is going to hate you for that comment."

Prisoner #2 looked offended, "How come he's Prisoner #-" Prisoner #2 cried out in pain as a red bolt energy hit him right in the chest, out of the corner of his eye he saw Prisoner #1's light hair smoking.

"Who said you could stop the Puppet Show? CONTINUE WITH THE SHOW!" Dark Ace screamed, shooting energy bolts at the prisoners, careful not to hit the puppets and the puppet theatre.

Prisoner #2 glared at his cell mate, "You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you-ah!" With some nice encouragement from the Dark Ace, the poor prisoners continued their puppet show.

_AFTER THE BATTLE WITH SNIPE!_

"Well, that was quite an easy battle," Aerrow told his teammates, minus Finn who was still holed up in his room. The other Storm Hawks just thought it be best to let Finn figure out that they weren't leaving him.

"Yeah," Piper laughed, "No machines this time and no back up! What was he doing?"

Aerrow just shrugged as he and his teammates flew back to the Condor. When they went back onto the bridge of the Condor, they found Finn there! Talking happily with Stork...well more like happily annoying the carrier pilot but Finn wasn't in his room, anymore!

"Finn!" Junko yelled happily, hugging the blond, unaware of said blond being unable to breath. "I'm so happy that you're out of your room!"

"Junko, can't-breath," Finn mumbled, trying to gain a little oxygen.

Junko chuckled nervously as he put Finn back on the ground, "Sorry, Finn, I'm just glad you're with us again."

"Yeah, well you guys would have kicked me out of the Condor if you thought- well, you know."

"Glad to have you back out here, Finn." Aerrow walked to the sharpshooter, smiling widely. Radarr chirped his agreement and a random stalker chicken flew towards Finn with a happy 'cluck' then disappeared.

"Yeah Finn, I thought I wouldn't have anyone to bug about doing chores anymore," Piper joined in with the happy agreement, "Oh and by the way, you still have to do the chores."

Finn smirked coyly, "Well, in that case...I dibs the Squeegee!" Finn ran happily to where said squeegee lived and took it out.

Piper just shook her head, she will let Finn use the squeegee just this once and anyway, she was thinking of giving him the squeegee this chore week. Or so she would say when the others asked her.

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**A/N ANSWERS (well, mostly) TO FIRST CHAPTER'S QUESTIONS!**

**So, will Finn ever get over the fact that his daddy is Dark Ace? Not yet**

**Will the Storm Hawks encounter the Talon Commander again? Probably, they enounter Talons everywhere.**

**And will Finn encounter his daddy now he knows who it is? See above answer**

**And does the Dark Ace know he has a son? And where in the Atmos is he? 2nd Question answered, 1st question...keep asking **

**Will I ever stop annoying you with these (hint: the answer is B) answer is no, I will not.**

**And I'm actually starting to like how stupid this fic is turning out to be :) **

***In announcer voice* stay tune and you will find out next chapter in _What in the name of Atmos is going on?_**

**Review if you want to, it is nice but I don't live for them...cause I'm going to keep writing this...**


	3. Stalker Hen and Radarr Sitting in a Tree

**A/N**

**Hopefully I kept them in character and their reactions to things, also Stork, though one of my favourite characters; will not be appearing that much cause every attempt of putting him in has failed...So he won't be in here for awhile, through a quick mention will happen. Unless anyone has tips?**

**Warning: Weirdness is ahead and maybe some/a lot grammer mistakes since my brain does not understand the concept of 'proof reading' and only realises my mistakes AFTER I published a chapter...At least I'm warning you people who insist on perfect grammar, right? :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Storm Hawks (though that would be cool) and I made up the fact about Sky Monkeys...**

**Rated T for a little bit of swearing**

_"This is Radarr and the Stalker Hen (now named **Hayam (Pronounced: Hay-am**) talking"_

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**Chapter Three- Stalker Hen and Radarr Sitting in a Tree**

"A sky monkey?" Finn asked,

"No, Sky Monkeys have wings, Radarr doesn't." Piper told him,

"They do?" Finn yelled, surprised

Piper sighed as she nodded; as you could of guessed, the Storm Hawks were currently debating on what exactly Radarr was. Of course, the said Storm Hawk was not taking the conversation so well. In fact, he was sulking underneath the kitchen table, munching on Piper's sand cakes.

"_There you are_!" Hayam clucked as she sort of flew towards the blue Storm Hawk.

"_Be quiet, sweetie, you don't want them to find you here."_ Radarr whispered, of course when he first met Hayam, the Stalker Hen; he never wanted to be alone with her. After a couple of months with Hayam, she wasn't that bad...She just needed to work on how _clingy _she was. But hey, he wasn't complaining.

Radarr smirked as he realised he was the only Storm Hawk with a girlfriend, imagining the reactions of the others. Finn would no doubt complain about how he didn't have a girlfriend while the blue Storm Hawk did. Radarr came out of his daydreaming when Hayam rubbed her cheek with his.

"_What are you daydreaming about?" _Hayam whispered,

"_Just thinking about how the others would react if they found out I had a girlfriend...And I could go for some more sand cakes, but I don't wanna go out there and face them." _

Hayam shook her head as she kissed Radarr, "_Silly Storm Hawk, it's not so bad, at least they aren't calling you a Sky Monkey-"_

_"Finn already did," _

_"Oh," _Hayam giggled, "_Really?"_

"_I'm _**_not _**_a sky monkey!" _

_"_Radarr, what's going o-is that a hen?" Aerrow had peeked underneath the table to see what made Radarr screech, Aerrow smiled gently as he saw where the said hen was.

Hayam was resting on Radarr's shoulder, who was gently nudging him before Aerrow looked underneath the table. Radarr had returned the nudge but now both of them were frozen, with their heads resting against each other.

**_Meanwhile in Cyclonia_**

"Yes, Master?" Dark Ace did the custom Cyclonian solute,

"I have a job for you, Dark Ace, one you will like." Cyclonis passed a map towards her commander, "Do you know what this is?"

Dark Ace studied the map carefully, it was frayed at the ends but the dotted line with crosses over nearly everything was still available. "It's the Black Gorge map,"

"Exactly, I heard about the origins of the map and was curious. No one knows who created the map, but yet the handwriting is recognisable. Can you control any of the animals in the Black Gorge?"

"Yes,"

"Excellent," Master Cyclonis smiled, "Your mission, Dark Ace is to go to the Black Gorge, get control of those animals and bring them to me. I trust that won't be a problem?"

"No, it won't, Master."

"Excellent, you may leave."

Dark Ace bowed before he turned around, smirking. This should surprise the Atmos, maybe long enough for Cyclonis to succeed in finally taking it over.

**_Back in the Condor_**

"I can't believe Radarr has a girlfriend!" Finn complained, "RADARR!"

Radarr glared at the blond, though his reaction was exactly like he thought. The Storm Hawks had given up on what exactly Radarr was when Aerrow told them that he (Radarr) had a girlfriend. Stork screamed something about the germs that hens carry, Aerrow just gave Hayam food and Junko cried in happiness. Finn, getting over the initial shock that Radarr's girlfriend was a hen, started complaining about the fact that _Radarr _had a girlfriend and he didn't.

Piper was currently holding Hayam, petting her. Not that Hayam was complaining, though she sometimes shifted, eager to go back to Radarr. In the end, Radarr was now on Piper's shoulder, munching on sand cakes and occasionally nudging Hayam.

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**A/N Hayam is a girl name that means 'madly in love'...appropiate for the Stalker Hen, no? This will be the only pairing in the story...or it could be a dream! Who knows? All I know is Radarr is creeping up into my top favourites with Finn and Dark Ace.**

**Sooo...QUESTION THINGIE!**

**What is Cyclonis planning?**

**Is Finn jealous of Radarr?**

**Does anyone else think Radarr is a creature from the Far Side? That somehow got through to Atmos?**

**Does anyone else also think that they would find adorable Radarrs at the Far Side?**

**Like the other chapters, review or don't, whatever floats your boat.**

**And one final question,**

**Am I right in thinking that you, reader or readers, know who created the Black Gorge map?**


	4. Cyclonia

**A/N**

**Hopefully I kept them in character and their reactions to things, also Stork, though one of my favourite characters; will not be appearing that much cause every attempt of putting him in has failed...So he won't be in here for awhile, through a quick mention will happen. Unless anyone has tips? **

**Warning: Weirdness is ahead and maybe some/a lot grammer mistakes since my brain does not understand the concept of 'proof reading' and only realises my mistakes AFTER I published a chapter...At least I'm warning you people who insist on perfect grammar, right? :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Storm Hawks **

**Rated T for a little swearing... Also, the only pairing will be Radarr and Hayam. **

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**Chapter Four- Cyclonis**

She was supposed to be looking at maps, to take over the Atmos; but like every single teenager, she's rather good at procrastination. Cyclonis tapped her feet to the beat of the current song on the radio, the tune was rather catchy. She was so engrossed in the song that she did not hear the door open.

"Aqua? Seriously?" Dark Ace raised an eyebrow at the ruler,

Cyclonis gave him her most iciest stare, and unlike other teenagers, hers work. Well usually work, Cyclonis was disappointed when her stare didn't make Dark Ace flinch. Her stares made all of her other commanders flinch and, in some cases *cough*Snipe*cough*, make them wet themselves. Dark Ace was the only one that she couldn't make flinch by glaring.

"How do YOU know what the band was?" She snapped, bitter that her glare didn't succeed. Hey, she's been practicing for ages...Ok, a week but that's years to her. What with all the documents and stuff.

Dark Ace shrugged, "It was the only band that was popular to girls when I was young."

"Oldie," Cyclonis muttered, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Dark Ace ignored the old comment, he may be let off way easier than other talons but he wasn't going to push his luck with a sadistic teenage ruler.

"You called me here, something about paperwork?"

"Oh yes, I need you to file these documents in the correct order," Cyclonis pushed the thick pile of work-related documents towards the commander, who groaned.

"But the documents are soo boring," Dark whined, pouting, looking more like a giant three year old then a feared commander of...somewhere in his twenties.

Cyclonis raised an eyebrow, expecting the response, "I'll raise your pay by 60%,"

She got the reaction she expected, the Dark Ace was completely obsessed with money. More so than fighting, which was saying something.

"I shall just take these and file them, right away, Master," the Dark Ace smiled, picked up the heavy pile and walked out like he was holding nothing but a toy.

"So you shall," Cyclonis muttered, taking a red sticky note and marking that she raised Dark Ace's pay by 60%. She sighed, being a ruler can be really hard, sometimes. Not to mention what she must do to keep a fortunate so no one can steal Dark Ace. If anyone found out how money-centred he was...She shuddered, best not to think about it.

Just continue being the richest person in the world, and you will be fine. Cyclonis thought to herself, before moving flags over the maps of terras.

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**A/N Ok, that's Cyclonis-cented and not as funny. Kinda boring actually, but I love the interactions between Dark Ace and Cyclonis, cause there is so much to do with it.**


	5. Random School Shots

**A/N Disclaimer: I do not own the Storm Hawks, **

**I am out of ideas so these plots actually happened at my school during class which may or may not be the class that is shown here, to give you guys something to read so :) enjoy. Also, I know Starling is more then a year older then the Storm Hawks but I rather not create OCs unless it's absolutely necessary (Such as writing an Original Storm Hawks fic). And it's going to be a couple of little fics in one chapter so enjoy :)**

**I'm AUing some stuff so the titles with * mean that Cyclonis or 'Lark' is friends with Finn. There's also a lot of Adventure Time quotes and talking about Avdenture Time as well so :P and no, none of them are me. **

* * *

**Missing Out**

"Where are we going for our year twelve geo camp next year, sir?" Piper asked her Geography teacher.

"To Terra Tropica," he answered while the four year eleven's cheered and the current year twelve's screamed 'what!'.

Starling's face changed into a 'I feel sorry for you' look,

"You guys are missing out," she stated 'sadly'

Finn nodded in agreement, playing along, "Oh yeah, we are, this sucks."

"Yeah, you are going to miss out on the whole three raining days of camp and survival skills."

"Totally, why do they do this to us!?"

Finn and Starling stared at each other, both with complete serious faces while their classmates chuckled at them. They lasted a whole three seconds before bursting out in laughter, holding on to the desks so as not to fall over.

**Homies help Homies***

English is due today, Lark hasn't printed hers out yet.

"Hey, there's actually no one in this library. The computers, for once, are free." stated Finn as he walked in with his friend. Lark as already at the computer and logging on.

"Hey, Finn, can you read my English since I read yours yesterday?" She asked, "And because we're homies and homies help homies."

Finn looked confused, "I don't get it and sure, I will read it."

"Aw, you don't get my quote, that's sad. Especially since your name is Finn."

**English**

"Hey, miss!" Lark yelled, "Have you've gotten your Adventure Time USB yet?"

"Sadly, no, it hasn't arrived yet." the teacher replied

"That's sad," Lark commented

"Yep."

**Hunni-Shnookums***

Aerrow, as usual, was surrounded by girls in the English Class. His walkman blaring out music for the row he was in.

Lark turned around, "Nice music there, Aerrow," she shoved a couple of chips in her mouth and faced the front.

"I know right, honey-bear," Aerrow smirked as Lark turned around to reply,

"Sugar-snack, Hunni-shnookums." Lark remained quiet, silently chewing.

Finn stared, "Aerrow, you just made a great achievement. You weirded out Lark, that's one hell of an achievement."

Aerrow smiled, "Thank you."

**Lark's Locker**

"Remember, you have to clean out your locker, today." Piper told Lark,

"Hey, I'm all for cleaning it out but unless Stork brought some gloves, it's not going to happen today. I'm not touching it with my bare hands."

_During Lunch_

"Ok, you guys ready?" Lark yelled, her voice muffled by the mask she was wearing as she was facing her friends. Who was standing far away from the mouldy food locker.

"Yep, go!" Piper replied,

In one quick motion, Lak opened her locker and almost gagged as she held the plastic bag in her gloved hands.

"Oh, that's disgusting!" Finn yelled as he covered his nose with his shirt.

"Ewww, exhibit A: a sandwich." Lark held out the now colourful sandwich,

"It looks like a rainbow," Finn stated

"Watermelon," Lark continued and shoved the fruit into the bin right underneath the locker.

She looked back in and screamed, "EW! There's black sludge!"

"Ew, gross!" Piper exclaimed

Finn bursted out laughing, "There's still a book in there,"

Lark pulled out something white, "A sock,"

"That better not be mine," Piper stated,

"I think it's mine," Aerrow replied

"Another watermelon," Lark yelled through her mask and hand,

"That watermelon is from yesterday," Piper told her,

"Oh," She continue to clean out the rotten locker,

"There better not be maggots in there," Finn stated,

"Oh there is, look!" Piper pointed,

"Look at all the little flies," Aerrow tilted his head,

"Ew, my books are soaked." Lark muttered

"Gross," the rest of the group replied

"Possibly a pizza," Lark continued, ignoring the conversation going on from the other side of the path.

"What is that black sludge?" Finn screamed,

"Black sludge from this sandwich!" Lark replied holding up a soggy black...thing. "Do I have to wipe it?"

"YES!" Nearly everyone screamed,

"Okay, here goes," Lark moved the sludge quickly, muttering 'ew' the whole time before slamming the locker shut and moving the bin around the corner.

"Does anyone have perfume?" Lark muttered as she came back without her gloves or mask.

"No and That was the grossest thing ever." Piper muttered,

"I feel sorry for whoever has to clean it." Aerrow stated,

"I feel sorry for whoever has it next year." Finn said.

"Poor people." Lark stated

"I can't believe you let your locker get that bad," Starling told the younger girl,

"Hey, I just had the apple, man, Aerrow was the one who continued it."

Aerrow just poked his tongue out at her.

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**A/N That's all I can remember now, if you have any good ideas for what this random fic is actually supposed to be about, please tell me. I doubt my school's interesting enough to fill my writer's block. And no, the locker in the last one was worst then I actually described. **


	6. Cards

**A/N Disclaimer: I do not own the Storm Hawks, **

**Also, I should say this now, I hate Piper...Can't stand her really, but I will try to keep her in character and not 'bash' her so if I start to do that, can someone please tell me? I can understand hating a character but I don't particular like bashing them.**

* * *

**Chapter Six-Cards**

They were doomed, as Stork would say...well was saying, in the corner of his; their cell. For once, they actually lost to the Cyclonians. So right now, they were residing in a cramp cell, with nothing but prison clothes.

"How could this have happened?" Piper muttered, mentally going through her plan to look through any holes that was in them.

Without warning, a talon wrenched open the door and grabbed Finn, shackling him.

"Master wants you, Blondie."

"You're doomed," Stork muttered as he watched the interaction.

Finn gulped, _why would she want me?_

"Why would she want Finn?" Piper asked,

"HEY!"

The talon just glared as he dragged the blond out.

* * *

Things were so not good for Finn. For one, he was currently tied to the chair and two, Cyclonis had a weird obsession with his hair.

_Did she just...giggle? _Finn thought as manicured hands attacked his hair.

"How is your hair so bouncy?" Cyclonis mused as she repeatedly pat the blond locks.

"Uh...maybe because they um are?" What was one to say in these kind of situations?

Cyclonis giggled again, before brushing his hair.

"Oh nothing could make this more humiliating," Finn muttered but we all know what happens when we challenge life.

"Master?" Three voices asked at the same time, two hesitantly and one was just like 'what the hell are you doing?' Of course, these voices belong to the three top talon commanders.

"Oh damn, I spoke to soon," Finn spoke in a high squeaky voice...because no matter how hard he tried, he was still not over the fact that the _Dark Ace _of all people was his father. And things like that scare people for life.

_Why couldn't he be Aerrow's father? _Finn thought, _That how it always happen in shows/movies/books. Aerrow pulls of moves from a freaking cartoon! Why can't he have an evil sociopath as a father? It's always the main character that has the evil father...but no, it doesn't happen like that in real life. _

"Oh goody, you are here! Ravess, lend me your hair products." Cyclonis muttered while putting Finn's hair in clumps with...pink butterfly clips...Large ones.

"Stork was right, I am doom," Finn muttered, "She couldn't have just killed me, no, that's to merciful."

"Uh Master," Ravess cowered as her master screeched at her before running off to get the hair products.

"Snipe, I need you to train the new recruits, no complaining!" Cyclonis glared at him, who cowered like his sister and ran off.

Cyclonis turn her now full-on glare to Dark Ace, who just raised an eyebrow in turn.

"AH!" Cyclonis threw her hands up in frustration, "Why can't you cower like the rest of them!?"

Finn winced because the villainess was digging her nails into his shoulders and since he was tied tightly into the chair, he had to deal with it.

"Because I'm not pathetic?"

"Are you saying I can't give off an evil glare?" Cyclonis stared at her top commander

"Of course not, anyone else would faint on the stop."

There was a big pause, Finn grew worried...what if his shoulders were under attack again.

"Why are you playing with Blondie's hair?"

"Because it's bouncy and squishy!"

Oh how dare she, "My hair is NOT squishy!"

"Oh shut up," Cyclonis lightly slapped the blond's shoulder...of course since they were under attack a few minutes ago, that had hurt like hell.

"Oh, I didn't hit you that hard, you baby."

Dark Ace chuckled, "Your nails were attacking him though, it will not be surprising if his shoulders are bleeding."

"Oh, let's check then!"

"Where did that knife came from?"

"So you are finally going to kill me!"

"Nope," Cyclonis muttered as she cut of his shirt, "Ooh, you're kinda cute."

Dark Ace coughed -crush- which promptly lead Cyclonis to throw something at him while yelling she was not.

"HEY! That was a knife! Talk about in need of anger management."

Cyclonis scoffed, "You are one to talk, you destroyed your toaster because it; and I quote 'stole your breakfast'."

"That toaster had it coming!" Dark Ace yelled

"I rest my case,"

"Can someone just kill me now!"

"Oh look, he is bleeding...then it must have hurt," Cyclonis shrugged, before patting Finn's hair, "Are you going to cry to mummy?"

"My mother's dead, she has been since I was three." Finn replied emotionless,

"What about daddy, then?"

Finn eyes widen...of course they wouldn't know who his father is...wait...did Dark Ace know and just playing dumb? Though, with what he could remember of his mother, she would be one to not tell the father about pregnancy...and seeing who the father was...

"Oh, you estranged from your father? Maybe if we kidnap/kill him, will you talk."

"That will do Cyclonia more harm than good,"

"What?"

"Oops," Finn smiled sheepishly, "Would it be too much to ask you to forget that and continue to play with my hair?"

"Yes, yes it would," Cyclonis muttered, "Hmm...how would it do us more harm then good...unless your father is a talon."

Silence, was now Finn's answer to everything...he wondered what the others would think if they saw him being quiet.

"Oh he is, isn't he?" Cyclonis clapped cheerfully, "Is it Captain Chicken-Scratch?"

"Who?"

"Impossible," Dark Ace muttered, "He's gay and infertile."

Cyclonis stared, "How would you, no scratch that, why would you even need; no scratch that; why would you even _want _to know that?"

Dark Ace shrugged, "Cards,"

"What do cards have to do with knowing _that _sort of information? Actually don't answer, I don't even want to know." Cyclonis turned to Finn, "Do you feel like telling me now?"

Finn remained silence...

"Oh come on! You know I could just go back to playing with your hair, right?"

"Oh please do!"

"And shave it all off..."

"NOT THE HAIR!" Finn yelled, "Fine, yes he is a talon."

"Is he a normal talon or a commander?"

"me and Snipe are the only talon commanders, Master,"

"Ace, how many times must I correct your grammar until you talk properly!?" Cyclonis paused, "It's not Snipe, is it?"

"Could he even be able to do that? Would he even know what to-"

"It's Acey, isn't it?"

"Acey?" Finn raised an eyebrow as the commander quietly threw a fit...

Cyclonis shrugged, "So is it?"

"Um...I'm gay," Ace muttered, "Unless he's a test-tube baby, he can't be mine."

"I am a test-tube baby."

"Oh."

"What's a test-tube baby?" Cyclonis muttered,

"I thought you knew everything," Finn told the girl, he was going to die anyway, might as well say what's on his mind.

"About crystals, annoying brat. So what is a test-tube baby?"

"A baby which is formed out of the mother's body. It takes one sperm cell and one egg cell and then combing them. So, basically, the baby starts to form in a tube that was used to mix the cells, before inserting it into the mother's uterus." Dark Ace told her,

"How do you say that with a straight face?"

"One, I'm 28, and two, in school I took biology. One of my assignments was a ten minute speech comparing human reproduction to non-human reproduction." Dark Ace said,

"Ten minutes?" Cyclonis muttered

"Also, how do we know blondie's not pulling our legs?"

"I doubt that,"

"Why do I have a feeling that was a 'Finn's dumb' joke?" Finn muttered,

"Cause it was, plus he talked in third person."

Dark Ace stared, "How does that prove anything?"

"You talk in third person, sometimes."

"So does Snipe,"

"You have the same bone structure,"

"No we don't."

"You don't think that because he's fourteen," Cyclonis smiled, "I've seen pictures when you are fourteen...you have the same bone structure."

"...Why do you have pictures of me?"

"Because I do,"

"I still say he's making this up."

"Why would he make this up?"

"The Father Card."

"That is a good card to play."

"Why don't you just do a bloody DNA test," Finn yelled, before sulking,

"He's also got your temper," Cyclonis muttered, before wiping the blood off Finn's shoulder and putting it in a jar that randomly appeared.

"When I said a DNA test, I meant a cheek swab."

"But then I would need to swab Ace, but I already got some of his blood." She smiled widely,

"Why do you have-"

"So when the vampires take over, I have plenty of blood to soothe them so they leave me alone."

"And you wonder why I don't let you watch any horror movies." Ace said

"Excuse me for preparing for the take over," Cyclonis put her nose in the air, "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to test this."

"Wait, what did you call me for?"

"Wait for Ravess to get back with her hair products!"

"I...damnit," Ace swore before he sat in the throne,

"Won't you get in trouble for that,"

Ace shrugged, "Probably, don't really care. Too hot to care, right now."

"Uh...I'm bored,"

"Play cards?"

"I'm tied to a chair.."

"Truth or dare?"

"NO!"

"Read a book?"

"Where will you get this book?"

"Somewhere, maybe send Ravess on an errand to find a book."

"Why me?" a feminine voice asked,

"Oh, you got the products, just put them on the table." Ace smirked, "And fetch me a book,"

"What, no!"

"Do it...and get an interesting one as well,"

"You can't make me!"

"Yes I can,"

"No you can't!"

"Rule 145, paragraph 40: In the absence of the Master, the top commander shall be able to take over the duties of their Master. Note that the absence of Master Cyclonis can be considered when they take up extracurricular activities that have nothing to do with the terra."

"Fine, I will go get a bloody book." Ravess muttered angrily, stalking out of the room.

"How do you-"

"I've got a...well I can remember every book I have ever read."

"So...what do we do while waiting?"

Dark Ace shrugged, "Puppet show?"

He pulled out a hand puppet of Snipe and Cyclonis.

"Hey, those are mine!"

"What were they doing with Snipe?"

"I threw them at him to get him away."

"That makes no sense but is not disturbing, so I will go with that."

"My arms and legs are going numb..."

"Look on the bright side, she's not playing with your hair anymore!"

Finn sighed, "I wonder how the others are doing."

* * *

"I haven't heard Finn scream again," Piper whispered to Aerrow, "You don't think she actually got him?"

"Oh no," Junko started weeping,

Piper winced, that was why she was whispering.

"MWAHAHAHA! I GOT BLONDIE'S BLOOD!" Cyclonis run through the prison cell, on the way to her lab.

"That is never good," Stork said.

* * *

Something smelled weird...Finn looked over to Dark Ace, then looked again.

"Are you painting your nails?"

"I'm bored, plus it's lavender."

"Isn't lavender a girl colour?"

"Well at least I'm doing something instead of complaining!"

"I'm tired to a damn chair!"

And so, the argument continued...getting louder and louder. Until the talons and Cyclonis just wore earmuffs and earplugs all day; and the prisoners wished that they had earplugs and earmuffs to block out the sound.

_TBC_

* * *

**A/N I don't know how much of my test-tube baby explanation is right, since my only reference is online dictionary and wiki answers...**

**Honestly, this never goes the way I want it...I get stuck into it, with a certain ending in mind but no, my muse going 'shut up! let me write!'...stupid thing. I'm sure my grammar is bad this fic, but damnit it, I live in Australia and it's christmas! It's too hot to care about grammar, so sorry grammar-checkers...I just don't give a damn right now. **

**I should probably say this right now, unless I'm making fun of them, no pairing(except Radarr/StalkerChicken) shall exist...Cyclonis just likes Finn's bouncy hair, not Finn. **

**You know what I just realised? I never answered the question thingy from chapter three...not like anyone reads these things but in case people do.**

**What is Cyclonis planning? I will get to that someday...incidently that is the thing that my Muse refuses to write...it's a pain really.**

**Is Finn jealous of Radarr? Yes, yes he was/is...Honestly I don't know anymore; ask my muse.**

**Does anyone else think Radarr is a creature from the Far Side? That somehow got through to Atmos? No one reviewed me on this :( it was so sad.**

**Does anyone else also think that they would find adorable Radarrs at the Far Side? See above answer.**


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